"Lonliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissable." - Carl Gustav Jung-----------------------------------------------------
As a card carrying intravert, I value time alone to re-energize before participating in another social interaction. Aloneness is unlike being lonely. It is a time of rest, relaxation, and reflection, a time to catch one's breath outside the everyday hustle and bustle of life. I know from experience, however, that it is easy to slide into this comfort zone and stay there to the point of isolation, absorbed in my own activities and thoughts.
How is aloneness different from lonliness? For me, it is the difference between a peaceful, comfortable time filled with what I want to do, whenever I choose to do it in contrast to a gnawing, empty longing...an ache that must be painfully endured. Lonliness is a vaccum that cannot be filled by superficial encounters. As Jung exlains so well in his quote, it is an unfulfilled desire to be heard and understood. It is an empty heart wanting to be filled with love and understanding...an intimate understanding that transcends spoken language.
Lonliness is a drive that nudges us toward relationship in the hope that the vacancy we harbor will somehow be filled. Hidden behind this nagging gap is the human desire to be known and accepted or, even better, cherished for who we are. The mistake I have made is in believing that another person can somehow make me complete.
Since my accident, I have become acutely aware that this void must first be endured as the quest for self acceptance is tackled. It has been easy to fall deeper and deeper into the chasm of feeling alone and unloveable as I'm trying to make peace with this broken, uncomfortable, and unpredictable body that I'm not particularly in love with right now. I feel like a stranger in a new land. How easy it is to forget that we are more than our flesh and bone selves and the roles that we believe define us.
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