Insanity vs. Intent

"Violence can only be concealed by a lie, and the lie can only be maintained by violence." - Alexander Solzhenitsyn

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Is the world crazy? I awakened this morning to a text message that the tragic mass murder on my youngest daughter's university campus last Friday is the front page story in the New York Times today. The story delves into the volatile nature of the shooter over time that culminated in the deaths of three biology professors, serious injury of one professor, critical injury of another professor, and a staff assistant during the weekly biology department meeting, not to mention the trauma inflicted on the six surviving faculty members who witnessed the massacre.

I still feel a chill run through my body when I realize that my daughter was in the same building less than one hour before the shooting occurred, and, had it not been her spontaneous decision to leave that day rather than stay for tutoring, she would have been inside the building when the shooter was in the hallways, getting rid of her gun and trying to find a way out to avoid capture. This is the same faculty member who was teaching the Human Anatomy class last year that my daughter called to let me know she was replacing with another class because she heard about how bizarre and inconsistent this professor was. Thank goodness for the informal faculty reviews that students share with one another!

This shooting occurred exactly one week after a 14 year old student fatally shot a classmate in the hallway of a local middle school. Two senseless acts of violence that shocked our community to it's core within one short week. How are such events to be reconciled and understood? The middle school shooting was found to be related to gang infatuation while the faculty slaughter is being judged by onlookers to be either the random act of a mentally unstable woman or an intentional attack staged for an insanity defense by an intelligent, calculating criminal mind. Both acts create concern for me about the safety of our students.

I also have an understanding of the long road to recovery and possible residual effects of the physical injuries that the two injured survivors of the faculty shooting who have been critically wounded have to face and the post traumatic stress that is being experienced by the remaining survivors that were in the room and those middle school students who wonder if they can be kept safe.

Déjà vu 2010 vs. Winter Olympics 2006

"In sport, mental imagery is used primarily to help you get the best out of yourself in training and competition. The developing athletes who make the fastest progress and those who ultimately become their best make extensive use of mental imagery. They use it daily as a means of directing what will happen in training, and as a way of pre-experiencing their best competition performances." - Terry Orlick

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I love watching the Winter Olympics and, in fact, have entertained the possibility of seeing them in person one day, that is until a little over four years ago. I used to ski downhill before we moved South. Colorado was only six hours away, about the same distance as the beach is from my home in Alabama. I was never a competitive skier. I skied for relaxation and fun and, most of all, for the beautiful scenery. There is nothing more gorgeous than standing at the top of a run, looking out at the surrounding snow covered Rockies and soaking up the silence of a newly fallen blanket of powdery snow. Breathtaking!

My experience with skiing allows my appreciation of the athletic achievements of our winter Olympians. I remember watching Nastar competitions and sitting at the foot of a mogul field, amazed at the skill and speed of the competitors. Competitors that would surely smile at my clumsy efforts on the green and blue runs with occasional runs through the trees leaving a trail of gloves, hat, goggles, poles, and lastly, as I fall onto the snow, my skis. I imagined being compared to Goofy, the Disney character, flying down a snowbank and exclaiming "woo-hoo-hoo" as he loses his equipment before his final fall!

Four years ago, I watched the 2006 Winter Olympics from my hospital bed in the rehabilitation center after a day filled with trying to relearn how to roll over, sit up, and expand my shrunken lung capacity necessitated by an accident that paralyzed all but my right arm as the result of a spinal cord and brachial plexus injury. Three to four hours daily were spent on my own personal mini-olympics, interspersed with a plethora of medications, having my bodily functions that no longer worked correctly tended to, attempting to retain some of the nourishment provided by the high protein diet needed for healing between episodes of nausea and vomiting caused by vasomotor instability (low blood pressure) when I was turned from side to side or elevated to a sitting position.

Watching the Olympics was a welcome escape at the end of a tiring day and represented a touchstone of normalcy that had been abruptly taken away a few weeks earlier by a cell phone using, distracted driver. My family and friends were nearly 100 miles away. I lost myself in the games, remembering what it felt like to make my way down the greens and blues and to watch the daredevil

hotdoggers with red handkerchiefs tied around one thigh as they plummeted down the black, mogul dense slopes. I imagined the view from a mountaintop and the muffled sounds of the lifts and gondolas, my own guided imagery to help me sleep in unfamiliar surroundings and prepare for another challenging day.

I still love watching the Winter Olympics, imagining how it feels to ski down those slopes with the cold breeze against my cheeks and losing myself in the concentration and pleasure of each mountaintop moment. Even a catastrophic spinal cord injury cannot take away the pleasure of these memories or my vicarious enjoyment of the Winter Games.

Indianapolis Colts vs. New Orleans Saints

The one football game of the year that I enjoy watching! Commercial heaven!!! - CJS

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The game starts here at 5:30PM. I'm rooting for the commercials (and the Colts). I wonder if anyone has considered the amount of relief that could be provided to the Haitians with the cost of even one of these commercials? What about the grassroots ultra conservative Republican dinner in Nashville featuring Sarah Palin (of course her $100,000 speaker's fee would have to be deducted from the proceeds of the $500+ per plate dining fee plus overhead expenses) and the donations from the 600 individuals planning to attend? Of course, all of this is part of the American way...tossing away the resources of the wealthy while the poorest of the poor continue to suffer.

I am just as guilty! I will be sitting in front of the TV watching the commercials (and game), relaxing, cheering, and laughing while the global struggles continue. Is this wrong? I don't really think so. Sure, resources could be used in any number of locales experiencing poverty and extreme devastation like Haiti. One argument could be presented that this game and its commercials were purchased long before the earthquake in Haiti. It does cause me to pause a bit and wonder if we, as a country, are using our resources wisely.

Even if we do not believe in foreign aid, we have hungry and homeless children, women, & men right here in our own country. Well, I'm joining the ranks of the hypocrite today, write and rant about one thing and do the complete opposite.

Gobbler's Knob vs. PETA

Phil's official forecast as read February 2nd, 2010 at sunrise at Gobbler's Knob:

Hear Ye Hear Ye Hear Ye

On Gobbler's Knob on this glorious Groundhog Day, February 2nd, 2010, Punxsutawney Phil, Seer of Seers, Prognosticator of all Prognosticators awoke to the call of President Bill Deeley and greeted his handlers, John Griffiths and Ben Hughes.

After casting a joyful eye towards thousands of his faithful followers, Phil proclaimed, "If you want to know next, you must read my text. As the sky shines bright above me, my shadow I see beside me. So six more weeks of winter it will be."

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Click on URL for a brief history of Groundhog Day:

Times Asia, 2/2/2010 (http://www.timesasia.net/groundhogs-day-2010-history-did-the-groundhog-see-his-shadow-2010-results-05291480.htm)

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I read that PETA recommended retiring Punxsutawney Phil and replacing him with a robotic groundhog. As the history quoted above indicates, observance of Groundhog Day possibly began as a "bit of folk humor". According to weather prediction experts, Phil's predictions are right about 40% of the time. Sounds pretty close to the accuracy of weather forecasters on television. Phil appears to be well cared for and expresses himself when irritated by biting the handler (2009). I say leave Phil alone as the local folk hero and support a celebration of fun and laughter! A robotic Phil would just not be the same.

I have been thinking today about how fun it would be to go to Gobbler's Knob on Groundhog Day. I Emailed the visitor's bureau to find out if they have recommendations for accessible lodging for someone in a power

wheelchair. We'll see if I receive a response.

Laughter vs. Crying

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." -Kurt Vonnegut

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This is almost exactly what I told the Honda Roadside Assistance operator today when I explained that my car could not simply be towed because my wheelchair and I were stuck inside. She put me on hold for a bit and came back apologizing for the wait. I laughed and told her that I had eaten, had a drink on hand, and had mail to keep me entertained. She commented "well, you're in good spirits". to which I replied that I could laugh or cry and I choose to laugh.

Another preposterous situation with my SUV. Surely I am not the only person for whom a modified Honda Element borders on the edge of the lemon laws. I am almost used to things going counter to what I hope for. Now, that is a sad state of affairs!!! It would be refreshing for something to be reliable. If the lesson is to have no expectations and simply go with life as it unfolds, then it is difficult to make any commitments. How is that to be dealt with, I wonder?

One step forward and two steps backward, it seems. Losing ground rather than making progress! :( :(